Let’s face it, we all struggle with motivation from time to time. Asking questions such as “Why aren’t I more motivated?” or “What is getting in my way of doing this?” result in us rehearsing the reasons we don’t want to do something. Why not create a “Why-Do” list?

• Start by picking one thing you want to or should be doing but, for whatever reason, are feeling unmotivated.
• Stubbornly refuse to ask yourself the age-old, rational, yet highly un-motivating questions mentioned above. Asking ourselves the wrong questions, we end up reciting excuses, often leading to inaction or guilt.  
• Instead, focus on two more positive and motivating questions addressing why you want to do something creating a list to get you to argue in favor of doing the task. 
  • The reasons should be timely, compelling, and personal.
• Why might I … (go to the gym, quit smoking, change my diet) 
• Why are these reasons important to me? (The key word being me)

As you will see, the answers help you rehearse the positive reasons for doing something.

Instead of telling yourself, as you might have before this exercise, that you have to start walking because your doctor told you to or because your family wants you to, you may end up with much more personal and motivating reasons such as…

• I want to walk in the morning because I always feel better when I do. 
• I want to walk in the morning because my back feels better the rest of the day. 

Your answers help you rehearse positive reasons for doing whatever it is you are struggling with. And the best part about the “Why Do” list? The personally meaningful reasons you come up with help you stay motivated and stick with your goals.

Adapted from Dr. Michael Pantalon Instant Influence technique. “These seemingly irrational questions are part of my very successful, scientifically-proven Instant Influence method (based, in part, on Motivational Interviewing), which has been shown to motivate people from the Emergency Room to the Board Room, from patients with addiction and mental illness in the South Bronx, NY to executives and employees of Fortune 100 companies who are resistant to organizational change, as well as, many other individuals from all walks of life. They may even work for you.  Why might you give it a try?”

Michael V. Pantalon, Ph.D. is an award-winning faculty member and psychologist at Yale School of Medicine.

We live in a world of constant distractions. Cell phones, text messages, social media, TVs in every bar or restaurant. We have become used to constant stimulation and intrusion into our mental space but at what cost?

One repercussion that marketers have taken advantage of is the fact that distracted people are more likely to give in to temptation. For example, distracted shoppers are more sensitive to in-store promotions, and more likely to purchase items that were not on their list. Next time you are at the grocery store take a look at what you see when you first walk into the store and what you see in the check-out lane. There is a pretty good chance both areas are filled with impulse buys. Cookies, soda, chips, candy, magazines, lip balm, etc… You get the picture.

One thing you can do to increase self-awareness is to keep track of all the choices you make on a given day. At the end of the day analyze which ones supported your long-term goals and which ones didn’t. Once you have an awareness of your habits you can begin to change them. What gets monitored gets managed!

Willpower is commonly thought of as something we have or don’t have. Does this sound familiar? 

• “I have been so bad!”
• “I have no willpower when it comes to chocolate.”
• “I just can’t seem to stick with it!”
• “I have been so good lately; I don’t know what happened!”
• “I have no willpower. I will never be able to change.”

Willpower needs sleep, food, rest, and exercise just like the rest of your body. Here are five tips to keep your willpower muscle in tip-top shape

1. Slow down. Take the time to recognize your willpower challenges. The idea is to learn when you are the most vulnerable and avoid putting yourself in that situation. Eliminate the cue to the behavior you are trying to change. 
2. Timing is key. If you find that you are struggling to maintain a new habit, take a closer look at what is going on at that moment. Is your goal to work out after a 10-hour workday? To help your kids with their homework, doing dishes, and folding laundry? It is going to be much harder to follow through with a new habit when fatigued. Build the skill: Journal your energy level throughout the day. When are your peaks and valleys? When do you have the most motivation to practice self-care? 
3. Eat real food. Just like your muscles need fuel to perform, so does your brain. Glucose converts into all those wonderful neurotransmitters that control your thoughts, feelings, and actions. A balanced diet of carbs, protein, and fat with a wide variety of vitamins and minerals will help optimize your brainpower and your willpower! Build the skill: Start a food/mood journal to track how your diet contributes to your willpower, energy level, sleep, and mood.
4. Take 5: Rest is vital willpower. When we are tired, we are more impulsive, making it harder to follow through with goals. Brain and activity breaks are key!  Build the skill: Take 5-minute brain breaks for every hour or two you are working. Have a willpower challenge? Try a 5-minute activity break to surf the urge. 
5. 5. Practice self-compassion. Life happens. Be kind to yourself when you miss the mark. It happens to everyone. And beating yourself up will further weaken your willpower muscle. 
6. Complete an energy audit. Complete an energy audit. Use a journal to track your energy level and engagement throughout the day. What patterns did you notice? What time of day do you have the most energy? How can you take advantage of this time to do what you need to set yourself up for success? Build the skill: Develop strategies to form new habits when you are most likely to follow through with your goals. You will be more successful engaging in a new habit when you feel the most energized.

Creating a “Why-Do” list is a powerful alternative to the “to-do” list. After all, we often know what we need to do but it doesn’t always result in action. Here are the steps to creating your own “why-do” list:

Step 1: Pick one thing you want to or should be but for whatever the reason, have not. 

Step 2: Refuse to ask yourself age-old, rational, yet highly un-motivating, questions, such as:

• Why can’t I do this? 
• What gets in my way of doing this?
• Why aren’t I more motivated to do this?

Asking the above questions typically leads to rehearsing all excuses we haven’t done something, which can lead to guilt, shame and inaction   

Step 3: Instead, let’s focus on two much more positive and motivating questions that address why you want to do something. Hence, the “Why-Do” list. This will get you to argue in favor of doing it.  

1. Why might I … (join a gym, quit smoking, change my diet) 

• Jot down some answers including:
  • The reasons should be timely, compelling and personal.
  • If you can’t come up with anything, then ask yourself what would have to happen to be even a little ready.  Then, focus on why you might want to do that.

2. Why are these reasons important to me? (The key word being me)

• The more times you ask yourself this question, the deeper and more personal the reasons get.

As you will see, the answers help you rehearse the positive reasons for doing something.

Instead of telling yourself, as you might have before this exercise, that you have to start walking because your doctor told you to or because your family wants you to you may end up with much more personal and motivating reasons such as…

• I want to walk in the morning because I always feel better when I do. 
• I want to walk in the morning because my back feels better the rest of the day. 

Adapted from Dr. Michael Pantalon Instant Influence technique. “These seemingly irrational questions are part of my very successful, scientifically-proven Instant Influence method (based, in part, on Motivational Interviewing), which has been shown to motivate people from the Emergency Room to the Board Room, from patients with addiction and mental illness in the South Bronx, NY to executives and employees of Fortune 100 companies who are resistant to organizational change, as well as, many other individuals from all walks of life. They may even work for you.  Why might you give it a try?”

Michael V. Pantalon, Ph.D. is an award-winning faculty member and psychologist at Yale School of Medicine.

 Elizabeth Schenk, BS, MBA is a Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, Fitness Expert and Mentor

How many times have you wanted to make a change, jumped into it, ready to go to find yourself back where you started? You may even find yourself worse off because your confidence to change just went down a couple of notches.

You will be happy to know you are not alone! Many of us jump right into action without doing the necessary prep. When it comes to your goals, reflect on each of the following:

1. When setting goals, listen to the language used. Do you hear yourself say “I will” or “I should”? If you hear “I should” dig a little deeper. Is this something somebody else wants you to do? Your doctor, spouse, children, society…?
2. Is it interesting, exciting, engaging or does it make you yawn?
3. Ask yourself “why”. Then ask yourself “why” 4 more times to dig deep to the heart of the matter. *Focus on positive whys. Meaningful, powerful whys are the fuel to persistence.
4. Create a “why do” list instead of a “to-do” list. When you discover your why you will discover your how!
5. Focus on any tiny bit of motivation vs resistance. Avoid fear based motivation. It’s not the best motivator when it comes to change.

Change takes time, patience, and planning. While it can be hard to accept failure, it is just a sign we need to modify our plan. Look for the lesson in failure. After all, we are a work in progress!  

Questions? Comments? Send me an email at elizabeth@bestselfcoaching.com

As a health coach and fitness expert, I often have clients come to me because they want me to motivate them. But where does motivation come from? I am talking about the kind of motivation that gets us out of bed in the morning to go for a walk before work or motivation that get’s us to the gym after a stressful day.

What we believe when it comes to physical activity influences our ability to sustain an exercise program. Having a narrow view of what constitutes exercise is self-limiting and tends to lead to an all or nothing attitude. A typical example is the belief that exercise counts only if we are at the gym for one hour. What if you don’t enjoy going to the gym?

Given this scenario, your chances of being successful are slim. Worst yet, you might criticize yourself as being weak-willed, and the vicious cycle of failure continues.

Why do you want to begin an exercise program? Weight loss, avoiding disease, aging well? These are valid motivators but they are all rooted in the future. We make decisions based on how we feel in the moment. When wrestling with the idea of going to the gym after a long, stressful day how energizing is “avoiding diabetes ten years down the road” as a motivator?

When we set out to “take charge of our health” we rarely exam our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about the changes we want to make and jump right into action.

To get off the diet and exercise roller coaster examine your beliefs by answering the following questions:

1. Is physical activity something you enjoy or does it feel like a chore?
2. Do you take your daily walk because your doctor says you should?
3. Do you exercise mainly to control your weight?
4. Do you eat “clean” and feel guilty when you have been “bad”?
5. Is the thought of going on another diet down right depressing?
6. Do you hear a lot of “shoulds” when talking about self-care?

If you want a different result, you have to go back to the thoughts and beliefs holding you back and move forward with a new narrative.

One Brain, Two Minds

Our brain uses two different and often conflicting systems to process information, drive our choices, and behaviors.

Mind #1: The logical mind:  “I’ll stick to my diet because it is healthy and will help me lose weight.”  The challenge with the logic based mind it the fact that it is much harder to exercise willpower when fatigued or stressed. You may start the day with good intentions but end the day in a very different place.  It is much easier to keep your long term goals in mind when making decisions when you are well rested.

Mind #2: The impulsive, emotional mind: The emotion-based mind is experiential and often automatic.  It motivates us based on how we feel and is often outside our awareness. Logic is screaming at you to avoid the cookies. Before you know it, half the box is gone!  

This phenomenon goes beyond diet and very much applies to exercise and other health behaviors. When we are in the moment, our choices are often driven by emotion especially when willpower is low. It is much harder to think about long-term goals and our future-self when we are low on energy.

Understanding the science of willpower can help you plan for the times you know you will be energy depleted. For most, it tends to be afternoon and evening.

For example, If you are exhausted after work and you are finding it challenging to stick with your goal of going to the gym how can you make it easier to follow through?  Set yourself up for success by eliminating any barriers, real or perceived. Go right to the gym after work instead of going home first. Keep your workout clothes in your car.  Logically we know we have more energy after exercising. But when you are tired after a long day, you are likely operating from your emotional, impulsive mind.

Understanding the science of motivation can help you tie positive emotions to your health habits by engaging in activities you enjoy and building awareness around how our health habits add to our daily quality of life. Focusing on how your daily walk improves your mood and energy level vs. thinking of your walk of something you have to do to lose weight.   

Lastly, do you look at your health habits like a chore or a gift?  When your health habits feel like a chore, the likelihood of continuing is slim.  If you find yourself saying “I should” when talking about your health goals they probably feel more like a chore.  When you can find the gift in what you are doing, you are more likely to continue.

Creating Powerful Resolutions and Goals That Stick!

Roughly 92% of us fail with our New Year’s resolutions. After a while, many stop making resolutions all together. With an 8% success rate, can you blame them?

Considering 45% of New Year’s resolutions involve getting fit or losing weight it is no wonder our confidence to change our health behaviors has eroded.

Why do so many of us fail when it comes to our resolutions? Most of us make New Year’s resolutions that are too big, too vague or too boring and lack the key elements that make goals compelling. Most resolutions tend to be outcome goals without the action steps to get there. How are you going to reach your destination without a map?

To increase your chances of success when it comes to your New Year resolutions write out what it is you would like to accomplish and make sure it contains one of the following characteristics:

• Intellectually stimulating
• Physically challenging
• Emotionally energizing
• Purposeful and meaningful

Breakdown your resolution into bite-sized action steps that will move you closer to your goal. For example “I am going to get in shape!” What do you mean by in shape? Do you want to be able to run a marathon or to make it up the stairs to your apartment without getting winded?

Describe what getting in shape looks like for you and create milestones for yourself to measure progress.

“I will eat five servings of fruits and vegetables each day.” While this goal is specific and measurable, does it make you want to rush to the grocery store and buy a bag of celery sticks? Probably not. When goals are boring and lack meaning they are easy to blow off.

To persevere, you have to pursue goals you care about. You have to ask yourself what’s at stake. What do you gain if you achieve the goal or what will you lose if you don’t? If you want to eat healthier to have the energy to keep up with your kids or grandkids, now we are talking!